Things I Hate
by Dante Androsso
Summary: A character analysis of severe dislikes interlaced with character interactions of Jade West. Looking for co-authors for the other characters.
1. Chapter 1

Welcome.

Ok, there's your stupid introduction. If you can't figure out who this is, then drag your mouse over to the pretty arrow that's pointing left. If you don't know what left is, put your hands out in front of you. The one that makes a pretty L shape is your left hand. See the arrow pointing that way? Click on it and get out of my face.

Basically what's going down here is a top ten of things I hate at this particular moment. Then I'm going to explain to you morons why I hate it. Understand? If you don't, the pretty left facing arrow is waiting for your attention. I'm starting now.

I'm aware that there's a video series on TheSlap with the same topic in mind. I'm extremely passionate about the things I hate, got it? If you made it this far, congratulations. You can read and understand words.

I hate interruptions like the one just before this. Why? Because what if a building was burning down around you and you had to stop because someone there had to interrupt your escape? You'd die. Which may not be a bad idea when it comes to certain people. Anyways, I hate it when I'm talking and someone has to say something at the exact moment I have something important to say. It's like they don't even realize who I am and what I'm capable of doing to them. Now, don't get me wrong. I can understand how an interruption would be funny, hilarious even, when giving the correct situation. For example, let's just say there's this annoying new student who's got her hands all over your boyfriend. Are you going to just stand there and take it? If you do, you're a bigger moron than I gave you credit for in the first place. No, you go over there and kindly interrupt in the form of a fist to her face if you're inclined to do so. I prefer mental warfare myself. Its effects are much more harmful and lasting. But generally, if you have something to say and I am speaking or something important is being said, wait your turn or shut up.

Another thing I hate is redundancy. Google the word if you need to. I'll wait five seconds for you to get back. One, two, three, four, five; alright moving on. When people say something like "I like fresh scents because they smell fresh". Seriously? Words cannot describe how much that statement angers me. It's as if people who are redundant don't listen to the noise that's coming out of the gaping holes in their heads. It's as if their existence is so pointless that they have to go and tick off every single person they come across by saying the same thing over and over again until they're blue in the face only to take a breath and start all over again. You know what they should do? Learn vocabulary. Because if they did that, they would realize they're being redundant and learn to shut up because no one cares about what they have to say.

I despise when people assume things. Like when people assume the label "emo" on me. I am not a mopey teenager who has nothing better to do than to slit my wrists and bleed all over the place because that leads to infection and disease and then you die, which may or may not be doing the world a favor. I do not whine about things that are stupid in my life; I go out and correct them so they do not exist any longer. I appreciate the darker, more macabre things in life. There's just this aesthetic in things like that that I can enjoy without the input of "normal" society.  
Another example would be if you try to argue with me, don't assume I won't make you pay dearly for it.

Attentions whores are something I sincerely cannot stand. Before I get into that, I am not doing this for attention. There's something strangely therapeutic in writing out what I hate, thank you very much. That and I like watching the reactions of people who read this or have viewed any of the video series with the similar title. The negative ones amuse me. Now I know this person who happens to think she needs the attention of every single student at Hollywood Heights. She thinks she needs to be apart of everything, and the worst part is that no one can see what I'm talking about. Ha, I bet you were thinking of someone else weren't you? If I'm wrong, I'll post something nice about a person of your choice and try not to vomit. Just leave who you think it is in a comment and I'll let you know if you're right or not. It annoys me how that just turned into an interruption. And how my bet could be construed as an assumption. I hate how I'm being hypocritical.

Which leads to the next thing. Hypocrites, those annoying people who do one thing and say something completely different. Usually when I do similar it's not being hypocritical, it's being defiant. Since I hate being told what to do, I will do the opposite of what you say just to poke under your skin. That or I'll twist that thing into something you weren't expecting simply because I can. But those truly two faced people get under my skin and make me want to do bad things to remove them from from my skin.

People who do not understand how to use the English language. If you were born here, you should already know this stuff instead of proving what little intelligence you have. Text speak is not English. Text speak is being lazy. Text speak should only be used when you have 100 characters or less available to you, not used for everyday conversation. If you try it in my comments, I will delete the comment and ban you from ever seeing any more of what I hate because you will be moved to the top of the list. I will make your life hard if I ever meet you. And if you don't know how to spell something, either look it up or there's a lovely little technological advancement called spell check. Use it! It was invented for that very reason.

Now, a lot of you know I hate the color yellow. Why? Because it's painful to look at. It's all obnoxious and sitting there cheery like. Like it wants to say, "Look at me, I'm so stupidly happy that if you throw rocks at me I'll giggle." Which would anger me further because I hate giggling. Yellow needs to be confined in a small dark spiky area where it can learn that life isn't all gumdrops and sugar bears and get its happy squashed out of it.

Three more to go and I can get this stupid chapter done. I did promise ten, though you've been getting bonuses. I should just end things here.

People who eat their lips stuff. Do any of them know what sort of crap their ingesting? Next time you decide your new lip gloss tastes so yummy that you just can't resist, think about this: you're putting things like paraffins and glycol and acrylates and who knows what else into your system. Artificial things that are not edible. If you think that this is actually acceptable then go eat a candle or nail polish and try to tell me that it's still ok. Oh wait, you might be dead before then.

I hate the number nine, which coincidentally, this is the ninth entry on this page. It just sounds so whiney like that loser geek that can't get a prom date and is stuck around toting a doll everywhere he goes. Say nine out loud and tell me it doesn't sound whiney. It needs to grow up and grow a pair.

Last and most, I hate it when people ask stupid questions. I know there's this thing that says "there's no such thing as stupid questions only" blah blah blah. It's a lie. There are stupid questions because they come from stupid people who are too lazy to look things up on their own and then get whiney when they're met with stupid answers. Of course that's going to happen because you decided to ask something either so painfully obvious or so moronically ignorant that the only course of action is to meet it with sarcasm. Google is your friend, go talk to it.

Here's the end of chapter one. Now buzz off.


	2. Chapter 2

Intro to chapter 2.

Congratulations for making it this far into my psyche. Give yourself a gold star because you're special like that. If you read those last two sentences sarcastically, I applaud you. Before I get started, I'd like to thank ZOMG it's Angie for being brave enough to tell me I'm funny. Not many people can do that and get away unscathed. I bow to you. I also realized that in chapter one, I was redundant. If you can't catch it, the better off I am. Now on to business.

Most of you know that I hate bras that clasp in the front. There's no reason for them to exist unless the girl who has one has arms in comparison to her body like a T-rex. Then I could look the other way for five seconds. Anyone else who has them is just too lazy to reach behind their backs and hook it. It's not that difficult and if it is, have someone help you because you clearly need it if you're far too busy with something else to reach around and hook a bra.

I hate ice cream cake because it's a lie. There is no cake. It's all ice cream, unless you get one of those that incorporates both. Then you have frozen cake and a sheet of ice cream masquerading as icing, which is even worse. Why; because the ice cream gives you cold headaches while the cake is attempting to bust out your teeth. And there's no way you can get the cake thawed enough to where it won't without having soup made from artificially flavored and sugared milk. And that's three more things I hate right there.

It bothers me greatly when people refer to icing as "frosting". That word makes me sick to my stomach. It sounds like it belongs in a porno. Like at the end when the guy is all like "Here, try some of my frosting here; just give me a second to work it out." I feel nauseous just typing that out. Though I can't say "icing" is any better, it at least doesn't make me think about its origins.

When you think of cakes, you tend to think of birthdays. I hate birthdays. It's just one big celebration to mark one more year of life you wasted and one more year closer to the day you die. Because that's something I really want to celebrate. Being a year closer to never existing again. Doesn't that sound like fun?

I know a few of you know I hate milk. Why wouldn't I? Have you seen where it comes from. A cow's udder. That word is disgusting. And do you know what happens to it after it's left the diseased cow? It goes to a factory and becomes processed with all those yummy hormones and preservatives that every other schmuck seems to enjoy. Hormones like estrogen. Yes, boys, that hormone that gives you breasts and does nothing for length. I hate that word...And because I hate milk, naturally, I hate all dairy products. Because the other dairy products are far more bogged down with those hormones and preservatives.

I hate nights when I can't sleep because I'm thinking of everything I hate. It's like my brain can't slow down enough because there is just so much I hate. The only good thing about not being able to sleep is coffee. Because coffee is my best friend. It keeps me from making certain people's lives a living hell. So be thankful coffee exists if you're one of those people.

Holidays. Why? Because they've gone from spending time with your family, which isn't all it's cracked up to be in the first place as in I'd rather be impaled on a bed of nails, to a time where greed, gluttony, sloth and corporate big shots are freely celebrated and your present is only as good as the price tag that's attached to it. This in itself infuriates me. Because no matter how hard you try, it will never been good enough for someone who has never given you praise or understanding in your entire life. You could be the biggest name in Hollywood and I bet you that he still wouldn't care if you put your entire life, heart, and soul into something to impress him. It still won't be good enough.

Pies, turnovers, which that is the stupidest name the creator could have given it, and most cream pastries, i hate that word too because it implies that they're made with paste, are stupid and I hate them. Such desserts that incorporate chocolate or similar cream style filling need to be shoved back in the inventor's face because they are such a pointless waste of ingredients. All pastries are a waste of time but especially the ones that involve some cream filling simply because they require no skill, just a pre baked shell and pudding and, bam, there's your fail pie.

I hate it when people refer to slushes as smoothies because that's implying that there's actual fruit and dairy in the mixes when it's really nothing more than watered down, artificially flavored and colored syrups, I hate that word, too. Just because it's fortified with vitamin C does not mean it's healthy like a smoothie, that word irritates me too, would be.

And the last one of the I hate for this chapter, I hate writing these. I know last time I said that this was strangely therapeutic, I hate the spelling of this word, or whatever, but it annoys me so much when I do have something I want to share that I hate, I forget it by the time I want to write it down. And there's so much that I hate to keep track of that I could probably write a book or two with nothing but what I hate. AndI could write it down as a note for later when I think about it but I hate writing notes. See my dilemma?

And now chapter two is done.


End file.
